


the pain of us

by charjace



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Depression, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Platonic Cuddling, Self-Esteem Issues, Soulmate AU, Vomiting mentioned, if i'm missing something i needed to tag let me know, pain soulmate au, there is fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: He hated himself for it, because if he were to be honest, he thinks he might have fallen in love with Reggie. People can fall in love with someone who isn’t their soulmate, usually that’s because their soulmate died. Sometimes it can bloom into a beautiful love, and other times – well it ends up like Reggie’s parents. So, keeping his mouth shut on how he feels is how Luke thinks it’s best to go and let Reggie find his true soulmate and have the love he deserves, and if it’s not Luke, Luke will learn to be happy with that.
Relationships: Alex & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Alex & Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex & Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina & Luke Patterson, Julie Molina & Reggie, Luke Patterson/Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters
Comments: 13
Kudos: 237





	the pain of us

Luke was six years old when he first felt a sudden pain in the back of his head, he hadn’t done anything to cause the pain as he was just baking cookies with his mother in the kitchen. Covered slightly in flour, and a smile on his face as he smiled that six-year-old smile up at his mother, only for it to be replaced by a  _ sudden _ pain at the back of his head. Tears filled his eyes, and his mother scooped him up in his arms, holding him tightly in her arms and pressing soft kisses to the back of his head. His mother never voiced it, but she had prayed it was an accident, the idea of her son’s  _ soulmate _ being in a terrible home broke her heart. That night, his parents told him of soulmates, and how you can always feel when the person who is destined for you is hurt. Just before he went to bed, Luke scribbled down in his new journal what he felt, and a message of getting better to his soulmate, even if they won’t see it for years to come.

Seven years old, and Luke meets Reggie and Alex. He loves his new friends, they just  _ clicked _ and he was so excited to have them meet his parents. His parents loved his friends, and that just made Luke smile so wide. He doesn’t think much of all the small  _ phantom _ pains he feels that aren’t his own, they aren’t as bad as the first one he noticed, though – his young mind sometimes can’t figure out if it was  _ him _ or his soulmate all the time.

The next  _ big _ painful one Luke feels, he is ten years old. It starts with a big pain spreading throughout his abdomen, then to face. It felt like someone was hitting him everywhere, and Alex became worried as he watched as his friend started to cry, and fall in pain. Alex just held him until Luke stopped crying and his mother came in to tell them Reggie wasn’t coming over, Reggie’s father called, saying he was sick and wouldn’t be in school either tomorrow.

Ten years old, and covered in bruises, Reggie slings his bag over his shoulder – his father told him he can go to school now. It was a  _ onetime _ thing; Reggie tells himself as he walks out the door. The beach outside, looking very nice and inviting, but he had to go to school, he’s already missed a few classes, and he can’t fall behind. Even if his teachers don’t like helping him, or ignore him – despite his good grades, they just won’t  _ help _ where he needs it, or tell him he’s been too annoying, or too loud. The only good thing about school was his friends, and getting to see them so – not seeing them for a few days has made him sad, but he gets to see them today, so he takes his ten-year-old legs towards the school, where he meets up with Luke and Alex, both of whom eyes go wide and rush towards Reggie with worry in their eyes.

Alex tentatively lifts a hand towards Reggie’s face, Reggie shrugs his shoulders in answer to Alex’s “What happened  Reg ?”

A frown was on both of his friend’s faces, showing they weren’t taking that as a good enough answer, “I fell, I’m alright,” Reggie answers, he can see his friends aren’t totally buying it, but he changes the subject as they head towards their classroom.

When he is thirteen years old, Reggie feels a big pain spread through his left leg starting from his ankle. Groaning, Reggie started to hop towards the kitchen where his mother was. He is thirteen years old and his parents barely talk to him, barely even notice he’s  _ there _ \- and when they do, it’s because a teacher has called them, saying he’s done something they didn’t like, or that he should be tested for ADHD, not that his parents listened. Instead, they used that as a point to use against him and pull him apart before he just walks way into his room.

Thirteen and he’s scared to ask his mother for  _ something _ , for anything. The past few years for his birthday and Christmas, he’s received  _ nothing  _ from his parents at all. It was coming up his birthday, he was going to be fourteen soon and he just wanted  _ one _ thing, just one and he’ll never ask any of his parents for anything anymore.

“Mum?” Reggie asks, voice quiet and hesitant as he looks at his mother sitting at the table in the kitchen, a drink of what he assumes is whiskey, it’s never not, in one hand and a cigarette in the other. He sits next of her, fingers playing with each other in nerves.

“What?” His mother shoots back, taking a long drag from her cigarette, blowing it out towards her son.

“My birthday... it’s coming up, and, I know what I want. Me and my friends, we’re going to start a band and, I want to play the bass. But, to play it, I need a bass. It can be my Christmas present too, so you don’t have to worry about that,”  _ Not that you would have remembered _ , he thinks but doesn’t say out loud.

“Those cost hundreds of  _ dollars _ !” His mother shrieks, and Reggie tries to make himself smaller. He can feel tears forming in his eyes, he’s not going to get it – he knows it, just by his mother’s reaction.

“It’s the only thing I want, and... and you  forg -”

Glass shattering as his mother throws her cup towards him, the liquid falling out and finding a place on his shirt. The glass  _ just _ missed his head, as it hit the wall behind him, shattering into a million pieces. “You trying to guilt trip me? I  _ know _ when your birthday is!”

Reggie isn’t sure  _ why _ it suddenly came, it was a  _ brief _ stint of bravery as he says, “No, I don’t believe you  _ do _ know when my birthday is. You’ve forgotten it for the past four  _ years _ !” It was stupid for him to say something back, he knows that now as his mother’s hand is slapping across his face.

His hand comes up to his face, and tears fall from his eyes. His mother laughed at him, standing up and pushing him out of his chair. Feeling it now, he knows there will be a bruise where his right shoulder hit the ground and again when his mother stepped on his ankle, the one that  _ didn’t _ hurt minutes before, as she walked around him. He hadn’t registered the  _ weird _ feeling in his shoulder until he sat himself up from the floor and saw blood on the floor – that was right, there was glass there. A piece must have cut him, he didn’t notice it. Not knowing what to do now, Reggie manages to stand himself up, and walks out of the kitchen, curling up on his bed crying himself to sleep after cleaning the wound in his shoulder. His parents never called him down for dinner, and he slept until he woke up the next morning.

Reggie was with Alex in his garage, helping him set up the drum kit that his parents brought him. Reggie’s heart was  _ heavy _ , because he couldn’t be a part of the band. His parents weren’t going to get him the bass, not with how his mother reacted to him asking for one last night. Thinking about it, made his eyes tear up – and Alex noticed, a worried look spread across his lips, he was about to ask something when Luke walked in on crutches, his left leg in a cast.

“What happened Luke?” Reggie manages to ask, deflecting what _ ever _ it is that Alex was going to ask him.

Luke walked over to the chair that was in the room, “Broke my ankle, is all. It’s not me who I’m worried about. My soul mate, I’ve not felt too much pain, but last night not too long after I did  _ this _ ,” Luke lifts his leg slightly, “I felt like I got slapped, and _ pushed _ and like, I just... I hope whoever it is, they’re safe. I don’t like the thought of them being  _ hurt _ .”

Reggie watched as Luke’s hand ran up along his right shoulder, as if feeling the phantom pain again, and Reggie let’s out an involuntary gasp as things _ clicked _ into his head. No, this couldn’t be. Luke deserved someone much _ better _ than him. 

“You alright  Reg ?” Alex asks, eyes saying he was asking about  _ before _ too – but Reggie is good at deflecting, and tells them he’s fine, before reluctantly saying his parents aren’t going to get him the bass.

The day of Reggie’s birthday, he woke up to a big box outside of his room. Frowning slightly, he picked up the piece of paper that was attached to it. It was in his father’s handwriting. ‘ _ Do not ever say we don’t get you anything again.’ _ He had to bite back a scoff, of  _ course _ the one time his parents agree, it’s them  _ hating _ him. Reggie couldn’t be surprised, throwing the note to the side, he rips the  _ poorly _ wrapped box and a huge grin spreads across his lips as he sees the  _ bass _ there. Picking it up, he finds himself sprinting towards the phone, to let his friends know that he  _ can _ play bass, that they can be the band they always wanted to be.

“With how many times you injure yourself, I  _ pity _ your soulmate,” Alex chides Luke who had just ran into a door in his excited haste to get into the small venue. They’re fifteen now, and are slowly making their way into places to play some gigs. They started with covers, then Luke started to write some himself, with the help of his friends. The band,  _ Sunset Curve _ , they called it also gained a new member by the name of Bobby. He was  _ alright _ , he may not have clicked as well as Luke, Alex and Reggie, but he was still great on the guitar.

Rolling his eyes, Luke rubs his head where it had just hit the frame, “You’re just  _ jealous _ .”

“Or, I’m lucky my soulmate is not clumsy like _ you,”  _ Alex retorts, and pushes Luke’s shoulder before following the other inside. Luke let’s out a small huff but doesn’t respond, just walks over to the man that stood in the middle of place talking with a few other people. 

Bobby had a date, so he wasn’t coming and Reggie  _ was _ supposed to meet them outside, but he hadn’t shown up. The owner of the place turned to look at them, giving them a smile.

“Sorry we’re a little late, we thought Reggie, our bassist was coming,” Luke comments, “Are you the owner of this place? You wanted to meet with us?”

“You’re Sunset Curve, correct?” The man asks, folding his hands in front of himself.

“Yes, I-” Luke stops his words as a  _ sudden _ pain finds its way flowing through his nose, he lifts his hand up to his nose, and a sudden pain in his left cheek. Then it was his stomach, causing him to bend over in pain. Tears forming in his eyes, the last time he felt something  _ this _ bad was when he was ten years old. Someone was  _ beating _ his soulmate again, that’s what it had to be, more hits and shocks kept coming.

Alex looks at the owner, with an apologetic smile – and the owner had a sad smile across his face. Everyone knew what was happening, the man ushered them to a small couch. Alex, despite his nerves talked to the man, who was offering them a gig next weekend. The conversation was over by the time, the secondary pain in Luke subsided and he and Alex were leaving.

Luke clung to Alex’s side as they walked towards the nearest bench and taking a seat, Luke ignored the snickering that was coming from those who were passing by, but he felt Alex stiffen next to him, especially with how a guy muttered to his friend about ‘ _ a pair of fags’ _ . Not wanting to go home yet, they go to the studio garage, where Alex was being even  _ more _ quiet than he usually was.

“Alex, you alright?” Luke asks, taking a seat next to his friend, knocking his shoulder with his own. “You know those strangers mean  _ nothing _ right. T-”

“What if they’re right?” Alex manages to blurt out. His mind has been  _ racing _ since the comment – and if he were even more honest. It’s been going through  _ overdrive _ , but he’s been masking it by pushing those thoughts away. He thought he could do it again, but he can’t. Those  _ thoughts _ just won’t go away. Not able to look at Luke anymore, Alex stares at his feet.

Confused, Luke tilts his head slightly, “I don’t understand. What do you mean by that?”

“What if... What if I  _ know _ my soulmate will be another guy? That I am a f-” Taking in a shaky breath, Alex looks up to Luke, “I’m  _ gay _ . Whoever is my soulmate is, it’s going to be a  _ guy _ .”

Luke pulled Alex into a hug, ignoring the  _ sting _ that he felt on his right thigh because right now his friend needed his reassurance. He held onto Alex as the blond broke down crying, Luke couldn’t imagine the  _ amount _ of stress Alex has been under trying to hold all this in. He didn’t stop holding onto Alex until he was done crying and pulled away.

“It’s going to be okay,” Luke tells Alex, giving his shoulder’s a squeeze and a smile on his lips, “Whoever your soulmate is, they’re going to be one lucky guy.”

“T-Thank you,” Alex replies, wiping at the drying tears on his face but he had a bit of a smile on his face. Thankful that Luke was accepting of him, he was glad to have that support, though the thought of telling his parents? That scared Alex to no ends, so he’ll put it off.

There was a yellowing bruise on his cheek, and his nose still hurt if he moved his face into certain expressions. The rest of his body was littered with bruises and a few cuts, a busted lip that was still healing as he sat on the bench outside of his home. His parents have been arguing for the past few hours, and he hasn’t seen his friends in over a week. His mother called into school, telling them he was  _ sick _ , and he wouldn’t be in all week – so he was subjected to staying at home. He wasn’t even allowed to see his friends, not that he wanted too. At least, not when he  _ looked _ the way he did. They would have questions,  _ Luke _ definitely would. Ever since that day that he figured it out, he’s always done his best to  _ avoid _ letting it known that he can feel Luke’s pain – and if he showed up the next day with all his bruises, he is sure Luke would connect the dots, or even Alex would. Luke deserved better than  _ him _ , so he doesn’t say anything and keeps it to himself.

Alex had called him a few days ago, asking if he would be alright to perform a gig that weekend, and Reggie had to say he wasn’t sure. He could sneak out, risk it all once again – maybe if he crashed at the studio tonight after the gig, yeah – that would work. Sighing, Reggie stood himself up dusting off the sand on his pants before walking himself back to his home. Quietly, he makes his way to his room where he grabs his bag and piles in a few sets of clothing into it, alongside his drink bottle which has some  _ questionable _ contents in it and the pack of cigarettes that caused the beating in the first place.

They weren’t  _ his _ , they were his mother’s - or well, his mother had sent him to get them for her. His father  _ hated _ smoking, and it was one of the  _ many _ reasons why they fought. But his father caught him, his father wasn’t  _ supposed _ to be home and he was just going to hand them to his mother before going to meet his bandmates and he had already been running late. His father had  _ other _ plans it seemed as he dragged Reggie into his room, doing as he  _ pleased _ with Reggie until he had enough. Minutes later, he could hear the arguing his parents started and he closed his door, breaking down crying. Later that night, when his mother asked him for the smokes, he lied and said his father took them even though he had stuffed them into his backpack. Slowly, he’d been making his way through the packet as he sat himself at the beach, sometimes with his drink bottle, sometimes with his notebook – depending on his mood. He knows the stuff isn’t good for him, but he just doesn’t care.

Getting on his bike, he makes his way towards the venue smiling as he saw as Alex was taking his bass out of the van that Bobby’s parents have that they use to transport their instruments to and from the studio. Bobby was on his way to get his licence first, so that was going to work out fine. Chaining his bike to the nearest rack, he walks up to his friends – effectively startling Bobby who was talking with Luke about  _ something _ , “Jesus!” Bobby exclaims, before turning to look at Reggie before saying in a softer tone _ “Jesus _ Reg , what happened?”

He watched as Luke’s eyes fixated on his face, taking in the site of his friend now that he was closer. Luke stepped in front of Reggie, lifting his hand up towards his face slowly, “ Reg , who did this?” Luke’s voice was rather calm as he spoke, but it was rather alarming the way it  _ sounded _ coming out of his mouth – like he was trying to hold back his anger. In the corner of his eyes, he saw Alex clenching his fist together, closed, open – in a repeating pattern.

“Just some guy, don’t worry about it,” Reggie says shrugging it off, walking towards Alex who held out his bass towards him. 

“When?” Luke asks once they were inside the venue, Alex’s drums were already set up and so were Bobby and Luke’s things, it was just Reggie’s that needed to be set up, so he starts doing what he needed too. 

_ Last Saturday, _ “Tuesday,” The lie easily falling from his lips, he doesn’t want Luke to connect any dots. Someone better will be out there for Luke, Reggie knows it. If Reggie looked at Luke, he would see the slight  _ hurt _ look that spread across his bandmate’s features.

The party was loud, Alex had gone home an hour ago, Bobby was off flirting with some girl, Luke lost track of where he was and so Luke was watching Reggie carefully. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach as he watched his friend down the drink, he had with such an ease, and how eager he was to fill it up again. Not a single moment since they arrived at the party had there  _ not _ been a drink in Reggie’s hand. After watching Reggie down his fourth drink, losing Bobby in the crowd and Alex leaving Luke had decided to stop drinking himself, someone had to watch out for Reggie.

The bruises on Reggie’s face were practically gone now, Luke  _ hated _ himself – he had thought, for a moment that maybe, just  _ maybe _ Reggie was his soulmate that day he had shown up for their gig. He hated himself for it, because if he were to be honest, he thinks he might have fallen in love with Reggie. People  _ can _ fall in love with someone who isn’t their soulmate, usually that’s because their soulmate died. Sometimes it can bloom into a beautiful love, and other times – well it ends up like Reggie’s parents. So, keeping his mouth shut on how he feels is how Luke thinks it’s best to go and let Reggie find his true soulmate and have the love he deserves, and if it’s not Luke, Luke will learn to be happy with that.

Reggie was flirting with some girl, and Luke’s heart slightly shattered especially as he watches as the girl takes Reggie’s hand and pulls him through the crowd. Now, does he  _ stay _ and wait, or should he just up and leave. Would Reggie even mind, he was clearly  _ busy.  _ Shit, he thought as tears started to prickle his eyes, wanting to get out of there – Luke walks out the front, taking a seat on the edge of the kerb, pulling his knees into his chest.

He can hear the thumping of the music playing, the cold wind blowing past makes him wish he had brought his overcoat, or at the least wore something with longer sleeves. Rubbing at his arm, he stared out into the street. Watching as party goers started to filter their way out of the house, some clearly to hook up and others just wanting to go home. He’s not sure how long he was out there for, when a girl that Luke vaguely registers as the one that had dragged Reggie through the crowd standing on front of him.

“God, you’re just as  _ pathetic _ as him. You do it too? Pansies, all of you,” She said with a scoff, and before Luke could get in a word, she walked off towards a car and drove away. He just stared at where the car had been, only looking to his side when he saw something in the corner of his eye.

Turning his eyes, he saw Reggie sitting down next to him. Fingers twisting the ring on his finger, “W-What did she say?”

“She just insulted me and you, asked if I did it too, whatever that means,” Luke comments, taking in his friend’s sullen look, he puts his arm around his friend, pulling him close. Just because he isn’t Reggie’s soulmate, doesn’t mean he won’t be there for him. Reggie was his friend first and foremost, Luke will always be there for him. “Want to go get something to eat? I’m sure the McDonalds is open not too far from here.”

Reggie nodded his head, so Luke stood up and held out his hand for Reggie to take. They walk to the McDonalds with their hands still intertwined, and it was late enough that neither felt the need to pull their hands apart, but they did just before they walked into place. Luke just orders them some fries and nuggets, plus a water for Reggie, hoping it would help sober him up.

They decided to sit outside, leaning against the building eating their food before walking towards Luke’s place. Just on the corner of Luke’s street, Reggie threw up everything that he must have consumed that day. Reggie was now heavily slumped against Luke, the tiredness kicking in it seemed. Trying to enter the house quietly, Luke didn’t turn on any of the lights – but one of his parents must have heard them because  _ on _ goes the light as he was halfway through the living room.

His mother was standing by the light switch, a worried expression on her face as she looked at Reggie. “Put him to bed, on his  _ side _ ,” His mother instructs, “Then, can we talk?”

“What about?” Luke asks, looking at his mother with confusion on his face. He hopes this  _ isn’t _ about the band again, it’s too late and he’s too tired to have that argument again.

“Just... Put Reggie to bed, please,” She gives him a smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes, but he sighs a little and nods his head. 

He puts Reggie into his bed, helping his friend take off his shoes and stripping Reggie of his leather jacket that he and Alex had brought him for his birthday this year, he was about to help Reggie out of his pants when Reggie told him to stop. Luke frowned, but did as asked – sleeping in jeans was _ not _ going to be comfortable, but Luke wasn’t going to push. After making sure Reggie was laying on his side, he went back into the living room where his mother was seated on her chair. 

“Luke, I’m worried,” She starts, “About Reggie.”

“I know his home life isn’t great mum, but he would say something,” Wouldn’t he? Luke hated the  _ thought _ of Reggie’s home life being so bad and he couldn’t do anything about it. Reggie knew that he was there for him, right? That Alex and Bobby were too? Right? Reggie knew that, right?

“Luke, it’s been  _ twice _ that he’s been  _ sick _ and the next time you saw him he was covered in bruises. He’s  _ drinking _ ,” Emily says, worry lacing her voice as she looks at her son.

“We were just at a party. Of course, he was drinking, I was too,” Until he saw how much Reggie was consuming, and no one else was left to take care of him if he got into too much trouble, but he doesn’t say that out loud.

“It’s hard to see, or even  _ admit _ , but Luke darling, he’s not doing okay. He needs help, I talked with my therapist friend, she said she’d be willing to talk with him, if he’d want too,” She says, watching her son carefully.

“He’d  _ tell me _ if something was up. He  _ would _ ,” Luke tells his mother, like he’s trying to convince her that if something really was going on with Reggie that he would  _ go _ to him, or to Alex. That Reggie would go to his friends for help, but deep down he knows he’s saying it more to convince  _ himself _ more than anything else. “I’m going to bed.”

“Luke... just, suggest it please,” Emily begged as she watched her son walk towards his room.

Once in his room, Luke strips himself of his clothing and into a pair of pyjama bottoms before climbing into bed next to Reggie. They have a guest room, but Luke didn’t want to leave Reggie alone, even if it was just to sleep. Closing his eyes, he hears a soft “Luke... can you hold me?”

Moving closer to Reggie, Luke wraps his arm around Reggie and pulling him close to his chest, “Of course. Sleep.”

Reggie nodded his head softly, a few minutes passed before Luke could hear light snoring coming from the bassist in his arms. Pressing a soft kiss to the back of Reggie’s head, he murmurs, “I love you,” before drifting off to sleep himself.

It was the middle of the afternoon; he should be at practice but he couldn’t bring himself to go. Not today. Today, he was sitting in front of the gravesite he visits almost yearly. His bag was sitting next to him, his notebook sitting on his lap. The tombstone read  _ Jacob Jackson, February 13 1973 – Nov 27 1983, Beloved Son and Brother. _ He had placed a small  boquet of flowers at the head of the stone when he had arrived almost half an hour ago. He had just been sitting there, writing, waiting as if Jacob would  _ show up _ , but that wouldn’t happen – it never did and ghost weren’t real.

“They’re... they’re getting worse, I don’t know what to do,” Reggie finally says after the deafening silence of the cemetery, fingers going towards his bag where he grabs his drink bottle and takes a sip, and another. He runs his hand through his hair, before pulling out the packet of cigarettes that was in his bag. There were two left, grabbing one out he places it between his lips. Whenever he  _ has _ smoked, he always did it away from his home – away from his friends. He didn’t need their lectures. Lighting it up, he takes a long drag. “I’m _ scared _ sometimes. I can never know if they’ll hit me or not. Dad he, the other month, he... I miss you so much.”

Reggie let it fall silent, he really didn’t know what to say anymore, he faintly registers someone walking but he doesn’t pay mind to it, this was a cemetery after all. The footsteps do get closer, and he takes another drag, slowly letting it out as he spots something in the corner of his eyes. Glancing to his side, he spots Luke who looked like he was frowning slightly.

“Smoking kills,” Luke comments after a few moments of silence, his eyes fixated on the tombstone in front of them.

“I know,” Reggie replies with a small shrug – keeping his eyes on his brother’s tomb. “Why are you here?”

“You didn’t show up to practice, then Alex pointed out the date. We didn’t want you to be alone,” Luke answers, placing a hand on Reggie’s knee, giving it a small squeeze. “Alex isn’t too far behind.”

Speak of the devil, Alex comes walking up to the pair, frowning when he notices the cigarette in Reggie’s hand. Silently, he places the flowers he had just brought next to the ones Reggie had placed there before sitting on Reggie’s other side. Reggie doesn’t put out the cigarette, he just takes another long drag – tilting his head upwards, blowing the smoke upward and away from his friends.

“We’re here for you,” Alex tells Reggie, resting his hand on the bassist’s shoulder and giving it a small squeeze. They sit there, not really saying anything as Reggie finishes the cigarette, Luke starts to hum a song, as he and Alex rest their heads on Reggie’s shoulders. “Tell us more about him, all the good stuff,” Alex prompts, and Reggie starts to talk about the memories he had of his brother before that fateful day.

“Luke!” His mother called out, there was something that he couldn’t pinpoint in her voice as she yelled for him. Sighing, he closes his notebook and walks into the living room towards his mother. Emily had a sad expression upon it, “Call Alex, get him  _ here _ . I need to talk with you all, I’m going to get Reggie.”

“Get Reggie? Mum, what’s going on?” Luke questions, confused by what was happening, watching as his mother grabs her keys.

“He’s at the police station. Scared to call home, so he called here instead. Did you  _ suggest _ the therapist?” His mother asks, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

“No, I-” Now, he’s thinking he should have done that those months ago, when his mother had suggested it. 

“Luke, you  _ can’t _ save everyone, especially if they don’t want to open up. He needs professional  _ help _ ,” Emily walks to the door, and he follows, “Get Alex here,  _ quickly _ .”

His mother leaves, and Luke goes over to the phone, calling up Alex’s home and asking him to come over as soon as he can. Alex arrives just before his mother does, and Alex is slightly confused when Luke tells him to sit down. When his mother arrives back, she is guiding a wobbly Reggie into the house.

“Luke, get some aspirin and water,” His mother instructed, before looking at Alex, “Get a bucket, just in case.”

Both boys left to do as they had been asked, before coming back to see Reggie with his head between his knees, Alex quickly ran towards Reggie and handing him the bucket – which the dark-haired male promptly throws up into. Luke sat next to Reggie on one side, while Alex sat on the other, rubbing Reggie’s back. Once Reggie was done, Luke held out the pain killer and water to Reggie. Reggie grabbed the items as Alex put the bucket on the ground, downing the pills and water Reggie leant back into the couch closing his eyes. Soft snores started to come from him.

“The officer, they found Reggie stumbling down the beach – he nearly ran into traffic,” Emily spoke, “I’m going to have my friend come around tomorrow. Reggie will stay the night, sober up – and, then it’ll be his choice if he wants to talk with her,  _ alone _ . It needs to be done alone. Alex, if you want to stay, you can. I’ll be in the kitchen, you two talk and get Reggie into a bed.”

In the morning Reggie had a pounding headache, and he felt the bed underneath nice and soft, there was an arm draped around his waist. His mind automatically jumps to him having done something he regrets, but he takes note that his is practically fully clothed. His shoes, jacket and flannel are missing. Opening his eyes, he turns around and see’s Alex laying there, blond hair feathered across his sleeping face. The drummer murmured when Reggie shifted on the bed, blinking his eyes open and giving Reggie a small smile.

“What happened?” Reggie asks softly, he just needs to fill in blanks. He doesn’t remember much after his parents started arguing and he slung his bag over his shoulder. Where was his bag now?

Alex was about to answer when there was a knock on the door, then in walked Emily with two towels, setting them in the guest bedroom drawer. “Reggie, you shower first, then come into the dining room. Luke will give you both some clothes to wear.”

With that, Emily leaves and Reggie sits himself up, “I suppose I should shower then,” swinging his legs off the bed, the loss of Alex’s arm leaving him feeling cold, feeling like those monsters in his mind are back again. Numbly, he finds his way to the bathroom – he's been here multiple times, so he knows how to work the Patterson’s shower. Stripping himself down, just throwing his clothes into the corner before climbing into the shower.

The water hits his skin, the water hot and burning to his skin – the pain of it barely been taking note of. It wasn’t painful enough to cause a lot of pain to his soulmate, just a little discomfort, he would know – he's felt hot showers when he hasn’t had them himself. Sinking himself to the floor of the shower, he ends up pulling his knees in close to himself. God, why did he feel like crying, he hugs his knees – picking at his skin with his fingers as tears started to fall from his eyes.

A knock brought him out of his spiralling mind, “Reggie I’m coming in,” Alex’s voice calls out, and before Reggie could say anything the door was already open, and Alex had walked in, closing the door behind him. “You’ve been here for almost forty minutes  Reg ,” His friend says, walking towards the shower, opening up the glass door and seeing Reggie there.

Reggie watched as his friend’s face became saddened, Alex taking in the site of his friend on the floor of the shower, hugging his knees – red eyes, and his  _ thighs _ \- the redness that wasn’t from the hot water that lingered there in lines. “I’m sorry,” Reggie whispers out, and this kicks Alex into action as he walks closer to Reggie, not caring about the water – his friend was more important.

“Don’t be sorry,” Alex replies, “Have you been here the whole time, sitting?” Reggie nods his head, and Alex frowns a little, “Let’s shampoo your hair, then we’ll climb out okay.”

“Okay,” Reggie’s reply was quiet, and Alex reaches for the shampoo, squeezing some onto his palm before moving so he was behind Reggie. Alex was getting soaked, but he ran his fingers through Reggie’s hair, putting the shampoo through it and helping him rinse it out with soft instructions. Once the water ran clear, he held out his hand to help Reggie out of the shower and wrapping the towel around his friend’s waist, tucking it in tightly and guiding Reggie to the guest room where Luke was sitting on the bed, leg bouncing up and down.

“Oh my god, you -” Luke starts, but falters as he notices that Alex was soaking and a confused expression spreads across his features.

“Let Reggie get dressed, I’m going to have my shower. I’ll meet you both in the dining room,” Alex says, and nods his head for Luke to follow him, reluctantly, Luke does and closes the door behind him – leaving Reggie alone in the room to put on the clothes that Luke had picked out.

After getting dressed, Reggie goes into the dining room where Emily was sitting with her hands folded over, he saw his bag – with his drink bottle out, and that  _ new _ packet of cigarettes he had brought two days ago. Mitch was making some pancakes, finishing off the one he was doing, he placed the plate in front of Reggie. “Reggie, I have my friend coming around. She’s a therapist, I’m not going to  _ force _ you to talk to her. We’re just worried about you, this behaviour, getting drunk, smoking – We care about you, you’ve always got a place here. Anything you say with her, it will stay between you two okay? If we have too, Me and Mitch pay for you to see her again. We love you  Reg , and Luke does, and so does Alex.”

Reggie was quiet, fork poking at his plate – he was hungry, but at the same time the thought of eating made him nauseas, so he just stuck with playing with the food instead. “W-What if I just promise to stop drinking? To stop smoking... will I still have to talk with your friend?”

“It’s all up to you, you get to choose if you will speak with her. We won’t force you; we just want to help you,” Emily says, “She’ll be here around eleven. You have a few hours; you and the boys can watch whatever you want. Luke says you like Star Wars, we hired it out for you if you want.”

He ended up talking with Emily’s therapist friend, they talked for half an hour, and that was it. Reggie didn’t  _ want _ her help. He could do this, but he did promise his friends that he would stop drinking, and that he would never smoke again. He made good on his promise, and he was doing better mentally now. Reggie isn’t sure if Alex told Luke about what he saw in the shower, and anytime that Alex tried to talk to him about it – he ignored it, he changed the subject to the point where Alex stopped trying to talk about it. They’re seventeen now, and Reggie has had some bad days, but – he's learnt to call up his friends, to try and talk some of it out, or to just be  _ with _ them was enough to distract him enough. 

They were performing at the Orpheum, and Reggie was so excited, and so were Alex, and Luke. Bobby didn’t look  _ as _ enthusiastic as the rest, well, that was until he was flirting with that worker, Rose, Reggie recalls her name. He blew off street dogs for her. But, the hotdogs, he should have listened to Alex, he shouldn’t have brushed it off because now pain was everywhere, as his stomach clenched, and turned. He held his arm over his stomach in pain – he can faintly see the glow of red and blue, but his vision was blurring. He tries to look over at his friend’s, he can see Alex slumped over his breathing very shallow, vomit on his shoes – and Luke, was vomiting and it hurt Reggie’s throat. Paramedics came, they picked Alex first – but he hears them say  _ Call it _ , and tears filled his eyes,  _ No.  _ He wants to scream but nothing is coming out. Someone is attending Luke, and he can faintly register someone touching him and laying him on a gurney. Then, as he is placed into the ambulance – he feels a sudden sharp pain in his heart, it makes him unable to breathe and he manages to groggily cry out  _ Luke _ , tears filling his eyes as the pain subsides and almost becomes half the intensity it was before, and he hears the paramedics say _ Call it _ , once again. Both Luke and Alex were _ gone _ \- and he didn’t want to do this without them, it seemed he too lost the battle and his own breathing became so shallow, then he was seeing his friends in the ambulance staring at his body as the paramedics say, for the third time that night _ Call it _ . The paramedics  _ tried _ but they couldn’t get any of the boys back, and the boys floated up into the black void.

It was dark in the room; Alex was crying and no one knew what to do. Was  _ this _ what the afterlife was like, just a dark room. But after what felt like an hour, they started falling and ended up falling into their old studio, but – there was something different about it. There were  _ a lot _ of thing different, but a lot of thing that were similar. It had been  _ twenty-five _ years; they’d been dead for  _ twenty-five years _ . They missed a lot of things, Julie was helping them out –and,  _ man _ could she sing, and the thrill of performing with her made them feel as alive again as they could possibly get as ghost. But of course, things weren’t always going to run smoothly for the boys. No, they found out Bobby had  _ stolen _ their songs and profited off them, without even acknowledging his old bandmates. So, stupidly, of course they wanted revenge and got into more trouble in doing so.

Alex was sitting in the empty Orpheum, they figured their unfinished business was playing _ here _ , it was what they were meant to do the night they died. Willie came by, sitting next to him – and Alex can’t really be mad at Willie, not anymore. He cared too much about the other, Alex tells him that  _ this _ was their unfinished business and he gets a shock – which sends pain throughout his ghostly body. In the corner of his eye – he notices as Willie holds his stomach in the  _ exact _ same spot that Alex had.

_ Oh _ Alex’s mind supplies him,  _ that must be why I never felt my soulmate’s pain.  _ They were never alive at the same time, but now, as ghost – here they are, finding each other. They talk everything out a bit, until Willie has to go – Alex doesn’t want to put Willie in anymore danger with Caleb.

Julie had given his parents his song, there was some sort of  _ closure _ there because at least now they know he never hated them. Luke never hated his parents, they may have fought but, Luke could never hate them. They cared for him, they cared for his  _ friends _ \- they were good, even if they weren’t so happy with this chosen career choice. Needing space, he poofs himself back to Julie’s place – sitting himself on the porch, just thinking. 

When Julie comes back, and he gives her a smile, telling her “No, I. I just had to leave, that was,”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“Yeah, I do. I don’t have many regrets in my life, but – running out on my parents, especially my mum. So, thank you.”

“You helped me feel more connected to my mother, I just wanted to do the same with you.”

Luke smiled at her, “Thank you, again.” It went quiet between them, after a few moments though, Luke breaks it, “Julie, do you know who your soulmate is?”

Julie looked at Luke confused, but gave a small nod of her head, “Flynn. We figured it out when we were thirteen. Why?”

“I just... I never found mine before I died, but I kind of didn’t want too the older I got,” Luke admits, and starts to play with the rabbit’s foot on his chain. Julie looks at him, giving him a sad smile, wishing she could place her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

“Does this have anything to do with  _ Reggie?”  _ Julie asks, and Luke looks at her slightly shocked at her figuring it out, “I’ve read your songs Luke. I found the love one you tried to hide away.”

“Boundaries,” Luke comments quietly, and they both laugh a little. “I just... Do you think, now that we’re  _ dead _ , the soulmate thing doesn’t work anymore?”

“I d-” Julie doesn’t finish her sentence as a  _ shock _ pulses through Luke, causing him to back to the pole on the porch. 

Groaning, he pulls back and looks at Julie, a sad look on her features laced with worry, “I guess I should tell you about that too.”

So he does, he opens up about  _ exactly _ what was going with him and his friends, how they need to play the Orpheum or they’ll be gone forever, unless they join Caleb. Luke hated watching as Julie stormed inside, and Luke makes his way to the garage, where he informs his bandmates of what he just told Julie as he takes a seat on the floor.

It seems, that playing the Orpheum was  _ not _ their unfinished business – but, that does matter because somehow, with Julie’s  _ love _ , they managed to get rid of Caleb’s mark. It’s been two days, and Alex was trying to find Willie, Julie and Flynn were on a date, and Reggie was sitting on the couch, curled up with a book he stole from Julie’s room when Luke  poofed into the garage after having a talk with  Julie before she went on her date , who told him to just _ go _ for it. 

Walking over to Reggie, he pokes the bassist’s leg gaining the male’s attention. Luke can’t help but smile at the smile he got in greeting. Closing the book, Reggie places it on the table while Luke takes a seat on the couch next to Reggie. It went silent between them, Reggie looking at Luke curiously.

“ Reg ?” The nickname, a question off of his tongue as he looks at his friend – but as his friend looks at him – he loses the nerve, and opts to ask “So, what are you reading?”

The big smile that spread across Reggie’s lips was enough for Luke to not hate himself for not asking what he really wanted, “It’s the Lightning Thief. I only just started it, Julie has the whole series and said I could read. It’s about this boy, Percy who is a demigod, and... want me to read it too you? I don’t mind going back, I’m only like two chapters in.”

“It sounds interesting, sure,” Luke says, smiling when Reggie reaches for the book and opens it up. Luke rests his head against Reggie’s shoulder once they find a better position, eyes falling down to the words. 

“ _ Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood,” _ Reggie starts the book, and Luke just enjoys this. He doesn’t want to accidently ruin this friendship he has with Reggie by bringing in his feelings. Just, being with Reggie made him feel safe, and loved. The thought of shattering that with his stupid feelings, when Reggie most likely wouldn’t feel the same, no, Luke couldn’t be selfish now. Because maybe Reggie might be lucky enough to find his soulmate in this afterlife that they have, and maybe Luke could find his and move on from Reggie. Even if he wanted to kiss Reggie, from his lips to his cheek – to just everywhere to make Reggie know he is loved, but he’ll settle for cuddling against Reggie as he reads.

It became a habit for the pair, they’d read a few chapters curled up on the couch, with Reggie reading out loud to Luke when Julie was at school, and Alex was with Willie. Basically, anytime they had free together was spent reading if not writing a new song. It was fun, and a great time, and Luke loved it. He hasn’t tried to bring up his  _ feelings _ , he really doesn’t want to make it awkward between them, so he’ll keep his mouth shut on that. 

Luke had come back from visiting his parents, with a smile on his face because Reggie had said they could curl up together and read, but the smile faded when he didn’t see Reggie. Did Reggie forget? Taking note of the shower in the studio going, Luke walks towards the door, knocking on it. “ Reg ?” It was quiet, no reply, “Reggie?”

A sob could be heard coming through the water, and that was enough for Luke to just walk through the door. His heart shattering at seeing his friend sitting on the shower floor, body curled in on himself, hugging his knees tightly as the water just passes through him. Reggie’s body shaking with the sobs he’s trying to keep quiet. Moving so he was next to Reggie, he bumps his shoulder with him, a silent way to tell him that he was there. Reggie ends up curling his arms around Luke, and Luke moves them so Reggie was sitting in his lap as Reggie cried.

Luke doesn’t know what’s going on with Reggie, or what has made him upset – but he’ll be there for him. Rubbing soft circles into Reggie’s back as he held him, whispering “It’s okay, I’m here ” to him .

They stayed there, on the shower floor even as Reggie ended up falling asleep from what Luke would assume was pure exhaustion as they didn’t really need sleep. Sleep was a  _ lifer _ thing. Julie came in to turn off the shower that was still running, she looks at Luke with a questioning look on her features.

“I don- Julie, what is the date?” Luke asks, a thought popping into his head.

“November the Twenty Seventh, why?” Julie asks, and Luke let’s out a small sigh.

“Reggie had a brother, he... died on this date,” Luke replies, and Julie’s face morphs into understanding.

“No practice today. I’ll inform Alex when he arrives,” Julie says, before leaving.

Luke sat there for a few moments, holding onto Reggie before trying to lightly coax Reggie awake. Pulling Reggie slightly away from him, smiling at the cute mumbling sound that fell from Reggie’s lips, “ Reg , wake up.” Luke says, running his thumb lightly under Reggie’s chin – the light smile that spread across Reggie’s lips made Luke’s heart jump, it was just too cute. “Come on. I’ll take you somewhere okay.”

Blinking his eyes open, Reggie looks at Luke and god did Reggie wish he was good enough for Luke, that he could  _ keep _ this. He  _ knows _ that technically he can, if he just  _ said _ those words – if he just  _ said _ ‘I know who my soulmate is, it’s you Luke’, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just stands up on the wet bathroom floor, and Luke stands up and grabs hold of Reggie’s hand before  poofing them.

Where Luke takes them, it’s familiar and, his eyes prickle with tears again, “I-I forgot Luke, how could I have?” Reggie’s voice quiet as he looks at his brother’s grave right in front of them.

“A lot had been going on Reggie, it’s okay,” Luke reassures as he gives Reggie’s hand a small squeeze. He moves to wrap his arm around Reggie’s shoulder, giving him a squeeze. “It’s okay to have forgotten, but you’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

“We should have gotten flowers or something,” Reggie comments.

“And have people wonder why flowers are floating in a  cemetery?” A new voice spoke as someone _ poofs _ onto the head of the gravestone. Fear quickly ran through both boys,  worried that Caleb had found them, and was going to take them again, but it was replaced with – confusion for Luke and a mix of emotions for Reggie, who  pulled away from Luke, going over to the ten-year-old ghost. Luke won’t admit it, but he pouted a little at losing the feeling of Reggie’s hand in his. 

Luke was smart, the young ghost looked like Reggie – the same crooked smile, as the ten-year-old watched as his brother walk up to him. “Jacob,” Reggie’s voice breaks at seeing his brother, and the other ghost nods his head. Reggie quickly ran up to him, engulfing him in a hug. “Y-You’ve been a ghost this whole time?”

They pull apart, and sit down – Luke didn’t know what to do, this felt like this was really something the pair of them should be doing alone. “I’ll head back to the studio. You okay here  Reg ? I don’t want to intrude.”

“Yeah. I’ll be back before practice, it’s in an hour, right?”

“It was cancelled. Spend as much time with your brother as you need,” Luke says before  poofing back to the studio.

When Reggie came back, he still had tears in his eyes – everyone in the room quickly looked at him. Concerned looks spread across all of their faces, but it was Julie who was sitting in a chair, with her laptop that asked, “Reggie are you okay?”

Reggie shook his head, he wanted a hug – he wanted to be held, he wanted to  _ drink _ . “H-He crossed over.”

Luke is quick to make space for Reggie on the couch, and he goes over. Letting himself rest his head on Luke’s shoulder. Alex sat on Reggie’s other side, intertwining their fingers in a show of support, while Julie moved to sit in front of her boys. Luke presses a soft kiss to the top of Reggie’s head.

“H-He said his unfinished business was making sure I was safe. He died protecting me, a car was speeding down the road – he pushed me out. I got a scar on the back of my head from it. It made sense to him, but then...” Everyone nodded as Reggie took the time to find the words. They all knew what he meant, then he  _ died _ . “He didn’t understand why he didn’t crossover, until I saw him today. He asked me to promise one thing before he crossed over, but... I can’t. I can’t do it.”

Julie’s brows frown together, worry filling her eyes, what could his brother have wanted, that Reggie couldn’t do? Was It visit his parents? Julie would understand that, not wanting to see your parents if they were bad –  _ were  _ Reggie’s parents bad? Julie didn’t know, he never opened up about it. “What did he want?”

“Me to tell my soulmate we’re soulmates. Apparently, he was there every time I poured my heart out about it. Said I deserve to be loved.”

“You  _ do _ ,” Alex says, squeezing Reggie’s hand, “You deserve to be loved. I know you struggle to believe it, but you  _ deserve it _ . I love you; Luke loves you; Julie loves you.”

“I-I know, I just...” A sob breaks it way through Reggie’s lips. “Can you guys just, hold me?”

“Of course,” All three says, Julie resting her hands on top of Reggie’s knees, rubbing circles with her thumbs, as Luke wraps his arm around Reggie, and Alex leans in closer to Reggie. All of them touching him, letting him know that they are there for him, no matter what with their touches.

It’s been a couple of days now, Reggie hasn’t been himself lately, but they suppose that was warranted, he  _ had _ just lost his brother for the second time. None of them ever really leaving him alone, but they did because Alex was out with Willie, and Julie and Luke were talking about something. Julie had said it was important, but gave Reggie a smile and said they’d be back in no less than ten minutes.

So, Reggie decided to try and find Ray inside, see what he was up to – but as he walked the house, Ray was nowhere to be seen. Carlos also seemed to be missing too. He found himself in the kitchen, staring at the locked cabinet that held cooking alcohols, and some just drinking ones. He doesn’t know how long he was standing there, just  _ staring _ at it. This _ feeling _ he has been feeling – he remembers the time when he would get drunk to forget it, to numb it – but he got clean. He hadn’t touched a drop since that night where Emily had picked him up. But just because he stopped didn’t mean the cravings did. There were multiple times he wanted to take the dive, to steal his parents' liquor, to get a new fake ID so he could drown his sorrows, but every time he would drag his feet to the studio, or to Luke or Alex’s place where he would just curl up and be held by them.

Neither of them would ask, they would just let him do it – and Emily did too. Reggie thinks she thought it was better than him drinking, that if Reggie spent nearly a  _ week _ holed up in Luke’s room, that it was better than having to watch him pour damaging things down his throat. She was a great person, she would have made a  _ great _ mother-in-law, had Reggie just  _ opened up _ about his soulmate.

“Reggie?” Julie’s voice asks, bringing him out of his staring.

With a smile that didn’t reach his eyes he looks at her, “Yeah?”

“Are you okay?” She questions, going to stand next to him. None of them speak for a moment, until Julie speaks again, trying to feel for what might be going on without flat out asking for it, “You know, in an interview, Trevor... or  _ Bobby _ was asked why he never drank. He said, he once knew someone who was affected badly by alcohol. He did admit he did drink in high school, but that was also when he swore off it.”

“God,” Reggie mumbles, wiping at his eyes that seemed to have filled with tears, “I really don’t know if I think Bobby is a good guy, or a bad guy. I...  _ Julie _ ... It was me.  _ I _ was that person. I don’t want to get into it, but... I had issues with it, I still struggle with the  _ urge _ , even if I can’t.”

Julie nods her head in understanding, even if she could never fully understand it. “Well, I’m proud of you Reggie,” She leans up and presses a kiss to his cheek. “Luke’s in the studio, he wants to talk to you. No... I’m  _ making _ him talk to you.”

A confused expression spread across Reggie’s face but he didn’t have time to ask, because Julie was already shooing him away, and the front door was opening and the sound of Carlos running into the house could be heard, so Reggie  poofed himself into the studio where Luke was sitting on the couch, leg bouncing up and down. Clearing his throat, Reggie makes himself known to Luke – who jumps slightly at the sound. There was a soft smile upon Luke’s lips, but his eyes held a lot of nervousness in them.

“Reggie, be honest with me,” Luke tells Reggie as the bassist walks over to the couch, taking a seat close to Luke. Reggie may have fallen for Luke, despite telling himself not too, despite telling himself someone better was out there for Luke soulmates be  _ damned _ . It must be the  _ soulmate _ thing, that drew him to Luke. So, Reggie may have fallen, but he never stopped allowing himself being close to Luke, scared that if he did – it would alert Luke to the true nature of what they were meant to be and everything Reggie was avoiding.

And Reggie isn’t avoiding it because he doesn’t love Luke , he does , but because there will always be that part of his mind that will tell him that there will be someone better then him for Luke. That, maybe they were meant to be those soulmates who found their lovers after death – even if Reggie doesn’t believe that anyone could love him like _ that _ . “Of course.”

“Why did you not tell us you found your soulmate?” Luke asks, and his body goes stiff and he looks towards the piano, unable to look at his friend. “We would have been so happy for you. They would have felt you  _ die _ .”

“Well, I felt my soulmate die before I did, so... unless ghost can feel their soulmate  _ die _ , they might not have,” Reggie counters, remembering the night they died – how he felt so much pain, and how that sharp, heart breaking pain pierced his heart before the pain decreased until he died himself. “You know what they say, that it’s a sharp pain in the heart, like your heart is breaking? Like _ physically _ breaking? Yeah, it’s exactly like that. You can’t  _ breathe. _ “

“Oh, do you know if they became a ghost?” Luke questions, reaching for Reggie’s hand and while Reggie’s mind tells him he should pull away, he instead holds his palm up for Luke to intertwine their fingers, the other gave his hand a small squeeze.

“They did,” Reggie admits, still not looking at Luke – keeping his eyes focused on the piano.

“Why haven’t you told them then?”

“Because Luke, he deserves better than me. I’ve known since we were thirteen years old, I’ve known this whole time. I’ve wanted to tell him, but  _ god _ I would be selfish in doing so. He deserves someone who isn’t  _ broken _ , or an addict like me. Someone with less baggage,” Reggie answers, finally gaining the courage to look at Luke, watching as his friend’s face falters and a sad expression falls on his face.

With his other hand, Luke gently cups Reggie’s cheek, and Reggie chides himself for leaning into the touch as Luke guides his face towards him, something like determination spread across Luke’s face as he looked at Reggie, “Well, what if we say  _ fuck _ it to soulmates then?”

“I-I don’t get it?” Reggie asks, confusion spreading across his features.

“Before we died, I didn’t really want to meet my soulmate, not after knowing you. I... I fell in love with you Reggie. I  _ still _ love you, and I don’t think anything could ever stop me from doing so,” Luke admits, and Reggie wants to think that this is some dream, or that this is some hallucination – but the look in Luke’s eyes tells him this is real and Reggie tears up.

Shaking his head, he pushes Luke away, “No. Y-You shouldn’t have. I... You weren’t supposed to fall in love with me.”

“But I did  Reg , so I don’t _ care _ who my so-” 

The hurt look upon Luke’s face made Reggie’s heart shatter, especially because he knows he is the cause of it – and he couldn’t take it. So many years of holding it in he exclaims, “It’s me! W-We're soulmates. Luke...” Reggie’s voice faltering as he watches his friend’s face contort into one of confusion, and he is staring at him with  _ hurt _ filling his eyes. Sucking in a shaky breath Reggie pulls his legs up and leans back on the couch. Eyes closed to stop the tears from falling, “I-I’m sorry. You just, you deserve someone better than me. It’s alright, you can hate me now.”

Feeling a hand gently placed on his shoulder, Reggie opens his eyes, Luke was looking at him with a sadden look on his face, “Reg...” Luke says, before wrapping his arm around the bassist and pulling him into a hug. 

Reggie was on his lap; he had gone without a fight – he couldn’t fight it. He just wanted to be held, so now he was on Luke’s lap, feet stretching out still the hit the base arm rest. Reggie twists his upper body to hold onto Luke in a hug, arms around the other’s neck, face buried there, where he says, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Holding him tightly, Luke’s fingers brush lightly against Reggie’s thighs in a  soothing manner. Luke presses a soft kiss to the side of Reggie’s head.

Luke starts to hum lightly, and they sit there for a few minutes until Luke decides to break the silence, “I do not hate you. Not now, not ever, okay. I am hurt that you didn’t tell me, because _ god _ did it hurt watching you g- Reggie,” Luke’s fingers still on Reggie’s thigh and he remembers the  _ stinging _ pain he would get from time to time, in the peak of Reggie’s drinking and for a few months after he became sober. Tears filled Luke’s eyes, as he remembers every  _ beating, _ he felt those times Reggie would end up  _ sick _ . Slowly unwrapping himself from around Reggie, Luke gently grabs hold of Reggie’s face and pulls it so they’re facing each other. “I  _ love _ you, okay. I wouldn’t want anyone else. Believe me, please believe me, I love you. So,  so much, even with all those  _ flaws  _ you seem to hate about yourself. I  _ love you _ , soulmate or not, it’s always been  _ you _ .”

Neither mention that was how soulmates  _ work _ , that it was most likely because they were soulmates that they fell for each other. How Reggie still fell despite trying not to, and how Luke fell without knowing they were yet. “C-Can we finish the book? I-I want to read.” Reggie asks, and Luke smiles at him.

“Of course,” Luke answers, and Reggie climbs off of Luke’s lap to get the  _ Sea of Monsters _ book that was sitting on the coffee table before climbing back onto Luke’s lap after Luke moved so his back was resting against the arm.

Curled up together, with the book fallen to the floor is how Alex found them. They must have had an exhausting day, and Alex just pulled a blanket over the top of them before pressing soft kisses to both of their heads. He’ll go see what Julie is up too. He knocks on the door, waits for Julie’s come in before walking into the room. Julie was curled up doing her homework, Alex just stood at the foot of her bed.

“Doing homework?” Alex asks, and sits when Julie motions for him to do so.  So, he sits on the edge of the bed.

“Yep,” Julie says popping the p, “I want to get as much of it done as possible. Did you go to the studio before here?”

“Yeah, Luke and Reggie were curled up on the couch,” Alex replies with a smile upon his face. It was nice seeing his friends so relaxed. “I think they were emotionally exhausted; they were asleep.”

Julie cocked her head to the side, looking up from her homework to look at the drummer, “You guys don’t need sleep?”

Alex shook his head, “Not really, but I’ve noticed if we emotionally drain ourselves, we will fall asleep at some point. Like... a way to rest ourselves, I guess. Luke did it the first time he visited his parents, then, I’ve noticed Reggie doing it a lot recently. I don’t know if he’s told you, but there were some  _ issues _ before we died.” Trying to be  _ vague _ , he doesn’t want to give out things that weren’t his to tell. Like, he  _ knows _ he could have said something about what he had  _ saw _ that morning with Reggie in the shower, but he couldn’t. He felt like if he did, he’d be breaking Reggie’s trust – plus, he told himself Reggie would talk to the therapist Emily had suggested. “I’m scared that it’ll happen again, or...  _ what can _ now that were ghost, and he’ll shut himself off again.”

Nodding her head, she reaches out for Alex who does the same, hands coming together to give a squeeze of comfort. “I think the best we can do is just let him know we are there for him. Not to push it,” No one likes it when you push subjects that you don’t want to talk about, Julie knows this. “Well, if you saw them curled up, I think I can take that as a good sign. I told Luke he should tell Reggie about his feelings.”

“ _ I knew it!”  _ Alex exclaims, “They’re totally soulmates, I  _ knew it _ .”

“I don’t know about  _ soulmates _ , but Luke is totally in love with Reggie,” Julie comments, her homework going slightly forgotten as she talks with Alex. “I found a few songs of Luke’s.”

“No, they’re soulmates. There are some things I’ve witnessed, and... Reggie loves him too, but I think he’s scared to admit it, because of his issues with self-esteem and his parents,” Alex admits, he’s seen the way Reggie looks at Luke. How the bassists would try his best not to flinch when Luke would get hurt when they were alive, how Luke had confined in him that his soulmate most likely  _ harmed _ themselves due to these certain pains that he would get on his thighs – then there was that day he saw Reggie in the shower, how before he walked into the shower – Luke was complaining that he was feeling extreme discomfort and why did his soulmate have to have a very hot shower  _ now _ , when they were worried about Reggie. Alex didn’t know how to press on about it, or ask Reggie about it.

“That’s cute, but also, sad. Reggie deserves to be loved by his soulmate,” Julie says, before turning her attention back to her homework, “You can watch anything on my laptop if you want. Just to give them more time together. Hopefully they can work it out.”

Alex nodded his head, Julie pulled up Netflix, and Alex managed to find his way around it – Reggie was the one who was better at this technology stuff. Picking it up much easier than him or Luke, it’s changed a bit since when they were alive. Julie ended up joining him in watching, and they curled up on her bed after she put away her work, Julie fell asleep watching the movie, and Alex just stayed there. Enjoying the rest of the movie.

Waking up, Reggie felt something warm under him, with arms tightly around him. Slowly he opened up his eyes, moving his head from where it had become nuzzled into Luke’s, if Reggie’s memory served him right, neck. Luke was still asleep, so Reggie tried to move – but as soon as he did, Luke’s hold tightened on him. “No, don’t go,” Luke murmurs, opening his eyes slightly, smiling at Reggie – and  _ god _ did that make Reggie’s non-beating heart race.

Reggie noted the blanket that had been draped across the pair in their sleep, he also saw the book they were  _ so close _ to finishing, on the floor. “I won’t, if we can finish the book. We had like, two more chapters.”

“Sounds like a good deal,” Luke let Reggie go just so he could reach the book comfortably, and Luke reached over to the lamp to turn it on. It had gotten dark in the studio.

Reggie skimmed through the book to find the place where he remembers up to, before he starts reading again as Luke wraps his arms around Reggie when the bassist lays on Luke’s chest, head tucked under Luke’s chin, “ _ In the meantime, Clarisse was carried on her cabin mates’ shoulders down to the amphitheatre, where she was honoured with a laurel wreath and a lot of celebrating around the campfire. Nobody gave Annabeth or me a second look...” _

They finished the book just as the sun started to come up through the windows in the studio. Reggie closed the book, and Luke pressed a soft kiss to Reggie’s head. It went silent between them, “Reg,” Luke voices into the air after a while. Moving his hand down Reggie’s arm so that he could hold Reggie’s hand in his own. When Reggie gives a small hum to let Luke know he was listening, Luke continues, bringing Reggie’s hand up press a soft kiss to the back of his hand. “I love you, and if I have to tell you every day until you believe me. I will.”

Sighing, Reggie’s non-beating heart skips and if he’s honest, he’s so  _ tired _ of fighting it and he’s ready to cave. To cave into Luke’s arms forever, to be able to  _ do so _ with such an  ease – to  _ kiss _ Luke, to just be there for Luke like the other has been there for him. Shifting himself, so that they were chest to chest. Reggie ran his finger across Luke’s jaw, smiling a little to himself when he saw Luke swallow, and look down at Reggie’s lips. Good to know they’re both wanting it, “And if that takes  _ forever _ ?”

“Eternity, Reg, I’ll give you eternity,” Luke stutters out, “You deserve it.”

“You do too,” Reggie replies, “I love you too.”

Luke smiled so brightly at hearing that, and it made Reggie regret ever keeping this information away from Luke, but seeing it now – aimed at him, it made him smile himself, before he leaned in to press his lips to Luke’s. The kiss was a lot more smile than you would really call a kiss, but neither of the boys cared. This was what they’ve been wanting since they were teenagers – or well, since 92 – 93. 

When they pull away, Luke goes to cup Reggie’s face in his hands, before pressing another kiss to Reggie’s lips. This one was more like a kiss now, lips moving against each other, one of Luke’s hands moving to the back of Reggie’s head – fingers ghosting of the scar that lay there from when he was six years old. Luke remembers that  _ pain _ that gave him, and tried to pour as much love as he could into the kiss. To let  Reggie know that Luke wasn’t going anywhere. Pulling away again, Luke whispers, “I love you  _ so fucking much _ Reggie.”

“Flaws and all?” Reggie muses, reaching for the hand that was still on his cheek, and guides it towards his thigh. “F-Flaws and all?”

Nodding his head, Luke rubs his thumb against the back of Reggie’s head, “Yes.  _ Everything _ .”

“Can we kiss again?” Reggie was answered with Luke bringing him closer, lips meeting again and again until Alex, Julie and Flynn walked into the studio. Reggie ended up burying his very red face into Luke’s neck, and Luke just laughed a little, wrapping his arms around his  _ soulmate _ . He was happy that he could  _ say that _ , to think that – to just, hold Reggie this close and not worry about another person he could have been tied too. Reggie was his, and Luke was Reggie’s - for now, to eternity. 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [the notebook](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27621476) by [charjace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace)




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